Monday, March 15, 2010

Free Will

To Free Will or not to Free Will.  That is the question.  That is the absolutely wrong question that philosophers have gotten backwards for centuries.  Yes, it is true, free will does not exist, or rather it is all that exists.  So that doesn't make sense, but what does.  What separates us from other animals, is not our free will.  Had I free will, I would not be sitting in front of a computer typing stupid thoughts into a screen that will be made available for the world to view, but no one will, not even my wife, because no one really cares about my blog.  This drivel is right smack in the 99 percentile of Sturgeons Law...and not the side of interesting.  What some mistake as free will, I define as p*ssy factor.  If I had genuine free will, would I have ended up such an insignificant suburban dung beetle?  I sure doubt that because I'll have hell to pay when I meet my maker.  Instead it isn't what you do that defines free will, it is what you don't do that defines free will or your p*ssy factor.  Think of the age old story of Hamlet.  He was such a p*ssy, not because of what he did, but of what he didnt' do.  So next time you hesitate when you see a hot babe across the room just remember that free will means that you are free to be a p*ssy, when actually every other fiber in your body is letting you know what you should be doing.  One thing you can't fake, in the immoral words of Doug Copeland, is sexual attraction.  Your will tells you to be a man, and the free part is the part where you be chicken shit.

1 comment:

  1. P.S. This was in response to a silly article about how some biologists discovered that free will is an illusion.


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