Monday, March 29, 2010

Duty ... again

Stuck again trying to find purpose in life. Well, that's not entirely true. I'm not looking for purpose, since that is futile. I'm simply trying to figure out something to do. I have a friend who likes to talk about philosophical shit and every time I talk to him I get a good idea or two...maybe DeBono et al knew what they were talking about. But something that he said to me got caught up in my short term memory web and I finally wrestled some meaning from it (my daughter told me that her teacher is teacher her how to learn insight--not sure what that means, but it's probably a lifelong pursuit).

I must apologize, I'm a bit groggy today. Last night I was up late, watching stupid movies on Netflix while I was filing and downloading and working on a website...multi-tasking hell. The last movie which robbed me of an hour and half of sleep was a documentary about the Homeless World Cup. It sounds like a joke or a parody, but it is real. Countries select teams of homeless people to represent their countries and play in an international tournanment of street-style soccer...kind of a mini-indoor soccer arena...5 on 5, I believe.

The gist of the story was these people who have very little in life aside from addiction, prejudice and suffering, get to spend 2 weeks to join the ranks the rest of the living. They have a chance to leave their stuggles behind while they play soccer in a safe and amicable environment. While I can't relate to them totally, I was homeless once and I can guess what this tournament means to them. For these few fleeting days, they had a goal and a shared purpose and were treated with respect as men and as atheletes.

No person deserves to have their dignity stripped away and for millions of people from dawn to dawn is a living nightmare. Back to my story. Well, my friend's story. He told me about a time when he was coming of age or having a midlife crisis or something or other where he started to accept the fact that there were things in life that he wasn't going to be able to do. Not all of his childhood dreams would be realized. There were things he wanted to do in life, but realized that they were not meant to be. You get the gist...I hope.

Now though I think that maybe what we want isn't as important as we all may think. Maybe life is a test to see what we can accomplish. If so, I doubt it is some self-serving system where we get to pick some career like in the game Life or Payday and just try to make it through with as little pain and as much pleasure as possible. What if deep down each of us has a duty or purpose and we must answer the calling. I'm not talking like priesthood or monkdom, but leaving the world a better place because we were in it. Maybe we are not here to party? Maybe life isn't about making a better life for us and our kids, but making life better for everyone? I think it can be done.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Free Will

To Free Will or not to Free Will.  That is the question.  That is the absolutely wrong question that philosophers have gotten backwards for centuries.  Yes, it is true, free will does not exist, or rather it is all that exists.  So that doesn't make sense, but what does.  What separates us from other animals, is not our free will.  Had I free will, I would not be sitting in front of a computer typing stupid thoughts into a screen that will be made available for the world to view, but no one will, not even my wife, because no one really cares about my blog.  This drivel is right smack in the 99 percentile of Sturgeons Law...and not the side of interesting.  What some mistake as free will, I define as p*ssy factor.  If I had genuine free will, would I have ended up such an insignificant suburban dung beetle?  I sure doubt that because I'll have hell to pay when I meet my maker.  Instead it isn't what you do that defines free will, it is what you don't do that defines free will or your p*ssy factor.  Think of the age old story of Hamlet.  He was such a p*ssy, not because of what he did, but of what he didnt' do.  So next time you hesitate when you see a hot babe across the room just remember that free will means that you are free to be a p*ssy, when actually every other fiber in your body is letting you know what you should be doing.  One thing you can't fake, in the immoral words of Doug Copeland, is sexual attraction.  Your will tells you to be a man, and the free part is the part where you be chicken shit.

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