Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Morbid Thoughts

I've been having morbid thoughts lately.  I don't know why, but I've been obsessing about my father's death.  It keeps popping into my head.  I don't know if it is a premonition or just some sort of hallucination, but everything seems to remind of that event.  Well, actually not the event, but of his funeral--in particular his eulogy.  Is that weird?  I get along fine with my father and don't think there are any gaps that I need to close with him or any unfinished business.  I went to my childhood best friend's dad's funeral last year.  It was a somber event, but reassuring at the same time.  It was as nice funeral as anyone could want.  The same was true for the previous funeral I attended for my younger brother's friend who blew his own brains out. 
My father is a different story.  He has five sons and two daughters.  I am neither the oldest, the youngest, the closest to home, nor the furthest away.  I do feel that I am the most spiritual of the lot, but that's only because I'm probably the most arrogant (and humble, too I must add--ha ha ha).  Anyway, I feel the responsibility of delivering my father's eulogy--honestly I don't think anyone else will volunteer.  When the time comes, I'll simply say...I'll do it.  I've been preparing it for years, hopefully not months or even days.  What to say...I haven't a clue.  Anyone know how to start one?

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